Avoiding Money Decisions? Here's How to Flip the Script:
I had an interesting conversation the other day with my dentist – well, she did most of the talking since I was otherwise occupied in her chair. But when she found out that I was a Certified Financial Planner®, she volunteered that she hated thinking about money. She avoided it at all costs. And from her visceral reaction, I could tell she REALLY meant it.
She went on to say that she didn’t feel like she deserved money or was really worthy of it. She had grown up poor and knew how to live frugally and continued to do just that. She just let money stack up in her checking account because she lived knee-deep in avoidance. She said she even felt guilty and ashamed about her “lack of money smarts”, knowing that she should be doing more with it, to help herself plan for retirement. So, it was a vicious cycle – her guilt fed the avoidance, and the avoidance fed the guilt, and on and on it went.
Avoiding money shows up in other ways too: not making a plan for your paycheck, not figuring out how to use your company’s 401k, not trying to whittle down the credit card debt you’ve run up. We all know what we SHOULD do, but just like my dentist, emotion wins over logic when it comes to money. Getting curious about your money emotions gives you space to recognize them without judging yourself for having them.
Here are 3 ideas I mentioned to her, that might help you too, if you find yourself avoiding the topic of money in your life:
3 Ideas
- Give yourself some grace.
Remember that your money mindset was formed early in life, from the role models you had and the thought patterns you unconsciously absorbed. Becoming aware of what story you tell yourself about money is the first step to changing it into a more productive, positive outcome.
- Envision the "Future You".
Pretend it's one year from now, and your Future You is looking back on the Current You, and the decisions (or lack of decisions 😊 ) you are making. Frame your money choices by deciding whether they're moving you closer to, or further away from, who you want to be one year from now.
- Who else in your life is counting on you?
Flip your negative script and let positive emotions motivate you to achieve financial goals that will benefit you and your family. Hope and love are powerful emotions that can drive you forward to take action for others when you won't do it for yourself. Creating financial security and positive role modeling will benefit your family for generations.
2 Deep Dives
- Here's a great article with a deeper dive into money avoidance and practical tips to changing your mindset: npr.org.
- A workable way to beat money avoidance is to automate your financial life. You can automate saving, investing, bill paying, estimated taxes -- you name it! Click here, where Kiplinger takes a deeper dive into just how to do that.
1 Inspiration
"Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will." - James Stephens
- Yvonne 😊